


how would it feel with an open heart?

by witchy_alien



Series: wasn't that your heart? [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 20:06:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9341156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchy_alien/pseuds/witchy_alien
Summary: Yuri deals with his emotions after a night with Otabek.alternatively titled: sad gays





	

**Author's Note:**

> "I am healthy, I am whole  
> But I have poor impulse control  
> I wanna go home
> 
> But I am home."  
> -The Mountain Goats

There was something about sleeping in a bed that wasn't his that made Yuri wake up in a bad mood. His back ached and his neck cracked as he stretched. The sheets rubbed uncomfortably against his skin. Yuri cringed knowing that he wasn't wearing anything underneath the thin blanket. Next to him Otabek stirred, rolling over and taking the blanket with him. Yuri felt his anger melt away as he watched Otabek’s back. 

The moment didn't last long. There was a knock at his door. “Yuri, the flight leaves at nine," Yakov yelled through the door. 

Yuri blushed even though Yakov could not see his nudity. Shame swelled into his chest replacing that warm feeling with the need to vomit. 

Oh wait, nope. That was an actual need to vomit. Yuri ran to the bathroom and heaved into the toilet. It made him feel light headed as he stumbled to the sink. He washed his face, refusing to look into the mirror. Yuri knew he wouldn't be happy with the mess he would see. 

Otabek was still sleeping by the time Yuri packed last minute items and souvenirs into his bags. He snapped a quick photo of Otabek before kicking the bed. 

“Get up you lazy ass,” He shook him. 

Otabek pulled the blanket up over his head. Yuri ripped it away from him completely tossing it onto the hotel carpet. Sometime in the night Otabek put his underwear back on. It only made Yuri feel sick again. 

Otabek finally woke up and looked around for his clothes. Yuri pretended to busy himself so he wasn't staring at him. Neither one talked to each other during the entire process. It made Yuri feel uneasy. His phone went off and he knew he had to get down to the lobby in fifteen minutes. He was incredibly aware of the time he had left to spend with Otabek. 

“When is your flight?” Yuri looked up from his phone. 

Otabek was clothed, but still rummaging through the blankets. “Tonight,” He turned to Yuri without actually looking at him, “Have you seen my phone?” The look on his face was one Yuri had never seen. 

Yuri pouted. A part of him hoped that they would have more time together. Maybe even go to the airport together. Yuri pushed away any further thoughts of having Otabek kiss him goodbye before he got on the plane. 

Instead, he grabbed Otabek’s phone from it’s place on the desk and handed it to him. Their fingers brushing as he placed the phone into his hands. Yuri felt his stomach turn, making a noise that was embarrassing. Yuri placed a knee on the bed and leaned in closer to Otabek. From this angle he could look down on Otabek. Feeling the heat rise in his cheeks, Yuri closed his eyes. Otabek had stopped Yuri, his arms braced on Yuri’s shoulders, gently pushing him back. 

“I need to go,” Otabek rushed. 

Guilty. 

That was the look on Otabek’s face. The one he couldn’t place earlier and now he unfortunately was aware of every movement in his body. 

Yuri backed away only to sit next to Otabek on the bed. He wanted to talk about what happened after the party. He needed to talk about it. But instead he chose to remain silent as Otabek messed with his phone. 

When Otabek finally got up, his movements were not fluid. They were stiff as he bent down to put on his shoes, not bothering to lace them. Yuri followed Otabek to the door, stopping to stand in front of it. 

Slowly, mechanically, Yuri placed a hand on Otabek’s arm. He slid it down so that they were holding hands. Otabek watched Yuri, and Yuri could not place where his emotions stood. Otabek put on his best poker face as Yuri tried to gauge where they stood between each other. 

“Yuri,” Otabek finally said. 

He leaned in, and Yuri felt his heart racing in a way he only felt before skating a big competition. Beating away as it did the night before when they had too much to drink for their age, and had snuck away without anybody knowing. 

Otabek held Yuri’s hand tighter before untangling their fingers, “I hope we can remain friends.” 

The words were soft in the quiet of the room. But Yuri could hear, could feel, his heart in his throat. Choking him and his ability to say anything as he stepped aside for Otabek to leave. He was alone, and painfully so.

Yuri walked over to the bed and sat down. He could feel the nausea bubble in his stomach. Skin feeling clammy as he pulled his knees up, rubbing his forehead against his torn jeans. 

Shaking, Yuri could not hold his anger in any longer. Breaking the silence of the room with a scream, tears rolling down his face faster than he could wipe them away. 

His phone rang once, then twice. On the third ring he picked it up and left the room, suitcase in tow.

**Author's Note:**

> i was listening to [the blow](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPVV8Nbjjw0) and was like what if but don't feel like this was sad enough


End file.
